Archive for April 14, 2006

Cleaning Up My Identity #3

There seems like an eternal conflict between being my self and being what I need to be in order to conform with what is normal otherwise i will inevitably fall further outside-the-box and alienated from my self and others. Thus some more distorted thoughts to cleanup…

SE: I'm a freethinker.
EP: I seem to have a disposition towards challenging perceived popular opinion and views thus rejecting dogmas that I disagree with even when faced with a can't-beat-em-join-em majority attitude.

SE: I'm a rationalizer.
EP: I seem to find an explanation for everything as a defense mechanism to remain trapped in a cycle of endless stagnation and pseudo-contentment with the status-quo.

SE: I'm a libertarian.
EP: I would seem to others to want to control my self so much so that I don't wish to "let go" of my perceived free will to have an impulsive moment.

SE: I'm not impulsive.
EP: I have found myself on occasion to repress my impulses and what I really want in a given situation out of fear that the apparent chaos of the subsequent impetuous moment will conflict with my personal ethics.

SE: I'm repressed.
EP: Freudian psychology asserts that repression has the attributes of blocking seemingly threatening thoughts from the conscious mind and relegating them to the unconscious. I would hold that by banishing scary impulsive thoughts to the unconscious I learn to make myself fearfully frustrated instead of honestly discussing and dealing with them head-on assuming full impetuous self-responsibility as an adult male.

SE: I'm suppressed by my ego.
EP: It would seem that I have shut the door to the outside world of suggestion and sensitively act within my own self-interests that appear to conveniently avoid working with society for conformity's sake.

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